Bullying is absolutely abhorrent.  If you’ve ever been a victim of bullying, or if you’ve ever tried your hand at it yourself, you are well aware of the damage it does.

Bullying is about intimidating and emotionally attacking the victim. The intention is to cause harm.  Kids that do it divine pleasure from the act of bullying.

It is no different than a physical assault.  And the emotional damage lasts far longer than bumps and bruises.

People talk about bullying as though it begins in high school.

I know that to be untrue.  I know it begins with parents and you start to see it in children as they begin to socialize.

Too often, I see parents of children who are barely able to speak, 2 and 3 years old, who tolerate their “babies” socially hostile behavior.

“It’s so cute how he gets that way.”

“She’s a little feisty.”

If that’s your idea of parenting, you’re the reason why we are a society on the verge of being overwhelmed by kids with severely underdeveloped moral compasses.

I warned you in an earlier post that I’m not out trying to win friends.

I’m not a psychologist here to heal you.

I’m a writer.  And I’m tired of people taking a sterilized middle of the road path, and sugar-coating stuff that still tastes like poop once you start to chew.

Here’s the facts, and if you don’t like it, I’ve hit a nerve and you need to do some serious self-evaluation.

If you think that bullying starts magically because it’s a “phase”, you’re wrong.  It starts as your child begins to socialize, and you make the conscious decision not to provide your child with consistent boundaries.

If your child spouts hateful verbiage such as “you’re not my friend!”, or “I don’t like you!”, or any permutation of aggressive dialogue, guess what?  It’s time to parent.  It’s not time to pretend it didn’t happen, or explain it away as a phase or “cute”.  It’s time to take your child aside RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT and explain to them that their tone and words are hurtful.  If they continue, tell them that you’re going to take something away.  And follow through.  If they stop, tell them that you will reward them.  And follow through.

Look, thank you “60’s” for many things, but come take back your permissiveness and the idea that parents should be friends to their children.  You need to be a parent.  You need to set boundaries.  If you don’t, and some day your “little angel” joins a little “bully gang” and causes one of their peers great emotional harm, you are the one that enabled it.  It’s you.  You are the one that set them up for this.  You will be the one who ultimately is the cause of your child’s lifelong struggle with the guilt caused by what they have done.

Parents, there is a cancer in America and it’s called low expectations.  It’s called lack of education.  It perpetrates because of excuses that have become social conventions for mitigating bad parenting. “I’m so overwhelmed”,  “I just don’t know what to do with her/him”,  and the ever so idiotic, “well, what are you going to do?”

Parent.  That’s what you’re supposed to do.  And if you don’t know what that entails, there are plenty of resources out there to help you.

Your excuses are wearing thin on those of us that are working hard to make sure our children grow up to be respectful and responsible contributors to society.  You need to step up.  Period.  There is always a solution.

For those of you frantically scrolling down to write me a “hate comment”, let me spare you the effort.  I hate I had to write this.  But I cannot sit idly by and hear of another little boy or girl being gravely or fatally injured because you decided to bury your head in the sand.

Pull it out and use it for more than a butt-cork.  Start parenting.