Judge: School violated lesbian’s rights, but prom cancellation valid – CNN.com.

Some people read stories like this one and look at the political, legal and moral issues at play.

I see mental health.

I am of the opinion that more well-adjusted people in the world is a good thing.

That starts with understanding and tolerance.

Cases like this bring awareness to social issues that are not going away any time soon.

People on opposing sides of the debate may never truly reconcile their differences.

But talking about it, and acknowledging it brings the conversation out in the open.  And that’s good mental health for all of us.

Tolerance can’t be mandated.  It’s a personal choice.  You either are, or you aren’t.  Tolerance is issue-specific.  You may be tolerant of one thing and intolerant of another.  In fact you are.  We all are.  The only way we differ from one another is in where we set our boundaries.  Your choice to be tolerant is based squarely upon the conceptions you have of the potential consequences.  As you perceive them.

That said, I think you’d have a hard time convincing anyone that it’s the right thing to tolerate a child predator having anything to do with children.

Or that murderers should roam free and be invited to our family functions.

Or that criminal behavior that infringes upon the rights and liberties of the innocent should be acceptable.

Those issues are steeped in contrast and it is easy for humans to agree upon what the ink-blot looks like, so to speak.

However, most of what we struggle with as a society are issues that don’t have a clear consequence.

We argue about the consequences, and in particular, we tend to highlight points based upon our personal environments, fears and prejudices.

And sometimes, quite frankly, it just feels good to vent.

We bellow much in the same way as gorillas do.  We’re protecting our perceived territory.

But the fences we put up are often times on rented land.  And sometimes we build on land that is clearly not ours.

You ever do that?  Build the fence an extra few inches over your property line because your neighbor’s not using it anyway?  Pick your personal metaphor for “fence” – we all have a few.

It is easy in the world of the physical to determine the boundaries.  Well, most of the time.

But introduce the mental, and it no longer is clear at all.  Case in point, people who are anti-guns who subsequently are victims of violent crimes more often than not switch positions.

Experience changes us.

And we can’t always completely control our experiences, despite our most sincere and earnest efforts to do so.

Emotions are complex.   The depth and breadth of human experience is vast.   Seeking shelter from diversity removes you from the human playing field.  Doesn’t it?  Wouldn’t most of us view that as being an impractical approach to living?

The underlying conflict here, whether admitted or not, is what is an appropriate age for children to be exposed to diversity.

Unless we regulate human diversity, we’re going to be exposed to different lifestyles at some point.

What age is it ok to experience that?

My daughter is 5.  When she was 3 she was in a preschool class and one of her classmates had two Daddies.

She wanted to know why.

We told her that not all families look exactly the same.

She was 3.

She wasn’t traumatized.  In fact, she never mentioned it again.

If you think that being around gay people makes you gay, you’re wrong, and if you insist you’re right, you’re obviously not spending your 9-5 working in the field of mental health.

The science is in, gay isn’t a choice.  You’re born that way.

I try to really imagine how it will shape my daughters life that she learned about gay people at 3 years old.

She may turn out gay.  I’m quite sure it wouldn’t be because of the two Daddies (who are super great parents and upstanding members of our community).

Your high school student may actually see a gay couple and realize that they are gay – but being exposed to gay people at prom won’t be why.

Actually, if you really want to be on target with this, you’ll realize that it only can be a good thing if indeed your child comes out of the closet as a result of seeing an example of someone with their same predisposition living their lives out of the shadows.

Overwhelmingly, we all want the same thing for our children – that they lead happy, healthy well-adjusted, successful lives.

And another thing most of us would agree upon is that we want grandkids some day, and thankfully, your kids don’t need to be straight to have their own kids in this day and age.

Be happy for your children, support them and love them.  And be careful about throwing stones in a glass house … turns out we all live in the same one …