Chocolate causes depression?

A recent study seems to suggest that chocolate causes depression.  If you watch the video available at the link above, you’ll see a very prominent medical doctor state the obvious – that depression may cause people to eat chocolate.

So the point of my post is not to discuss whether chocolate causes depression or vice-versa, it is instead to point out that these “studies” are often fueled by agendas that have nothing to do with giving the public truth.

Be careful of what you believe.  Try to verify information from a few different sources.  And really, beware of these “studies” … especially studies that originally tested for one thing, then use the data to “prove” other things.  That’s just bad science.

Finally, for whatever my opinion is worth, chocolate ALLEVIATES depression.  I can’t think of one time that I’ve bitten into a See’s chocolate and didn’t get instant gratification.  Like Dr. Manny opines, it is most likely that depression causes chocolate eating – not the other way around …

Bullying is absolutely abhorrent.  If you’ve ever been a victim of bullying, or if you’ve ever tried your hand at it yourself, you are well aware of the damage it does.

Bullying is about intimidating and emotionally attacking the victim. The intention is to cause harm.  Kids that do it divine pleasure from the act of bullying.

It is no different than a physical assault.  And the emotional damage lasts far longer than bumps and bruises.

People talk about bullying as though it begins in high school.

I know that to be untrue.  I know it begins with parents and you start to see it in children as they begin to socialize.

Too often, I see parents of children who are barely able to speak, 2 and 3 years old, who tolerate their “babies” socially hostile behavior.

“It’s so cute how he gets that way.”

“She’s a little feisty.”

If that’s your idea of parenting, you’re the reason why we are a society on the verge of being overwhelmed by kids with severely underdeveloped moral compasses.

I warned you in an earlier post that I’m not out trying to win friends.

I’m not a psychologist here to heal you.

I’m a writer.  And I’m tired of people taking a sterilized middle of the road path, and sugar-coating stuff that still tastes like poop once you start to chew.

Here’s the facts, and if you don’t like it, I’ve hit a nerve and you need to do some serious self-evaluation.

If you think that bullying starts magically because it’s a “phase”, you’re wrong.  It starts as your child begins to socialize, and you make the conscious decision not to provide your child with consistent boundaries.

If your child spouts hateful verbiage such as “you’re not my friend!”, or “I don’t like you!”, or any permutation of aggressive dialogue, guess what?  It’s time to parent.  It’s not time to pretend it didn’t happen, or explain it away as a phase or “cute”.  It’s time to take your child aside RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT and explain to them that their tone and words are hurtful.  If they continue, tell them that you’re going to take something away.  And follow through.  If they stop, tell them that you will reward them.  And follow through.

Look, thank you “60’s” for many things, but come take back your permissiveness and the idea that parents should be friends to their children.  You need to be a parent.  You need to set boundaries.  If you don’t, and some day your “little angel” joins a little “bully gang” and causes one of their peers great emotional harm, you are the one that enabled it.  It’s you.  You are the one that set them up for this.  You will be the one who ultimately is the cause of your child’s lifelong struggle with the guilt caused by what they have done.

Parents, there is a cancer in America and it’s called low expectations.  It’s called lack of education.  It perpetrates because of excuses that have become social conventions for mitigating bad parenting. “I’m so overwhelmed”,  “I just don’t know what to do with her/him”,  and the ever so idiotic, “well, what are you going to do?”

Parent.  That’s what you’re supposed to do.  And if you don’t know what that entails, there are plenty of resources out there to help you.

Your excuses are wearing thin on those of us that are working hard to make sure our children grow up to be respectful and responsible contributors to society.  You need to step up.  Period.  There is always a solution.

For those of you frantically scrolling down to write me a “hate comment”, let me spare you the effort.  I hate I had to write this.  But I cannot sit idly by and hear of another little boy or girl being gravely or fatally injured because you decided to bury your head in the sand.

Pull it out and use it for more than a butt-cork.  Start parenting.

Here’s an interesting piece – sex with friends leads to more transmission of STD’s.

Essentially what happens is that people who have non-romantic sex with friends, tend to be more trusting that the friend is not carrying a disease.

But sometimes they do.

So it sounds to me like “friends with benefits” is a ploy for “free” sex.

Except there’s no such thing as “free”.

Hence, the STD.

In the end, you always pay.  It’s just a question of what currency you use …

When I first started writing this blog, I endeavored to find a benign, almost sterile path to follow.  I didn’t want to offend anyone’s particular views or sensibilities.  I wanted to appeal to everyone.

That’s neither reasonable nor realistic.  First and foremost, that kind of blogging would be a treachery to read.

So the gloves are off, and if you get your feelings hurt, well, you should probably evaluate why your skin is so thin, because I’ll be sure not to engage in overtly controversial perspectives.

The mother and grandmother involved in sending the Russian boy back to Russia may not be criminally negligent, but they sure are spiritually negligent.

I see no mention of having taken this boy to family therapy.

If that is the case, shame on Nancy and Torri Hansen.

And I no longer accept the ridiculous notion that “I didn’t know to go to therapy”.

Everyone has seen the Sopranos.  If a MOBSTER can go to therapy, so you can you.

Get to therapy if there’s an issue in your life.  Enough with poor decisions and poor choices.  There’s a better way – it’s called counseling.  And now you can receive Online Counseling so that you do not even have to leave your home to get the help and guidance you need.

Nancy Hansen, this is directly to you – I am most certain that Torri was not a perfect child.  Had she been, she most likely never would have allowed this to happen.  So it is my guess that you had your share of trouble with Torri, and that you worked it out (poorly – but you didn’t drop her off at an orphanage).

Human beings are not dogs, and I’m not even sure I agree with adopting a dog and sending it back if it doesn’t go as planned.  As human beings, we know that nearly NOTHING goes as planned, that there are always challenges, and that the only path to happiness and success crosses through very demanding territory.

So, before signing off, let’s focus a little more generally.

Most of us have a limit to our patience.

Most of us have a bit of an asshole in us.

Most of us are not perfect parents.

Most of us want the best for our children.

If you have issues in your life – depression, stress, relationship problems (work or personal), then you’re not functioning optimally.  If you’re not functioning optimally, your friends and family suffer – period.  Lie to yourself all you want, but that’s the real, true end result.

Get some help for the love of Pete!  It’s right here, in your computer.  We don’t really care where you get it, just get it.  MyTherapyNet.com is highly reputable, is one of the first two companies in this market and has set the example for the entire industry.  It is secure, confidential and only staffed by licensed counselors.

But regardless of where you go for help – go get it.  And get it online if you’re thinking you’re too busy or you’re ashamed to go in person.

I want to end with something cute, but this is outrageous.  Get professional help Nancy and Torri Hansen.  It scares me to think of what other havoc you two are wrecking over there in Tennessee …

They’re suffering the old-fashioned American way … on their own, working it out.

They’re not going to the government for handouts.

They’re not running to their parents for help.

In fact, they are pretty much grinning and bearing it.

And so, I thought to myself, if I had no idea this was happening with my friends, who else is this happening to? Who else smiles, tells me they are fine, then recedes alone to their hellish nightmare?

I can’t bail out my friends. If I could, I would.

The government can’t bail out my friends. It can’t, but it does anyways – of course it only bails out special interest.

I’m not mad at the government, again, if I had it, I would bail out my friends. It only stands to reason that the government bails out its friends. That it has no money to do so, is a discussion to be had elsewhere.

The point here is that we bail out our friends when we are able.

We’re a community.

We’re there for each other.

And my friends went home tonight knowing that although they have no solution in sight, they have friends.

Now wouldn’t it be great if that paid the bills ….

Our thoughts and prayers are with the families and friends of all affected by the terrible mining tragedy in West Virginia.

MyTherapyNet.com will offer free counseling services to the families and friends of the victims of the tragedy.  For more information, please contact customerservice@mytherapynet.com

Online Counseling may not be a replacement for in-person therapy, but it is a replacement for not getting the help you need.

When so many people suffer endlessly in silence, it is obvious that more options are needed.

If we look at the top reasons why people do not go to therapy, the reason topping the list is stigma.

Most people simply are too uncomfortable to seek out mental health services in person.

Online Counseling removes that barrier.

The question of effectiveness really has nothing at all to do with the medium of delivery.

Therapy is therapy.  It shouldn’t and doesn’t change in nature whether performed in person or online.  The same psychological theories are used.  The fundamentals do not change.

The difference is location.  Online Counseling is simply a way of connecting to your therapist.

If you are wondering whether or not online counseling is for you, consider how you answer the following questions:

1)  Do you feel uncomfortable going to see a therapist in person?

2)  Do you feel like you do not have the time to go to office visits?

If you’ve answered either of these questions in the affirmative, online counseling may very well be the right choice for you.  Try it and find out.

Tomorrow’s post will provide you a guide for engaging in online counseling.  See you then ….

We all have heard how exercise has many benefits, both physical and mental.  Maybe it goes in one ear and out the other.  Maybe we need some heinous tragedy to force us to make a change.

Or maybe we need a way to add exercise into our lives in a tolerable fashion.

That’s my contention.  I stare blankly at doctors who tell their patients to get an hour of exercise a day.  I marvel at doctors who neglect to tell patients who so obviously need exercise to go out and get some.

Doctors are very smart and educated people, in general.  So why is there this all or nothing approach to exercise with them?

I think the answer is simple.  Doctors know exercise is important, and they know if they tell us to do it, that we don’t.

So, because most of us fail at listening to this sound advise, some docs don’t even bother giving it any longer.

The “get 60 minutes” crowd is on the other side of the spectrum.  They want you to do it, but they don’t know how to get you to.

MyMobileMinute.com may be the answer that we have all been looking for when it comes to exercise.

Imagine if these two statements were true.

“You only need 90 seconds of exercise at a time.”

“Don’t make ANY major changes.”

Well, turns out they are.

MyMobileMinute is the answer to two questions.

“What is the most effective way to exercise?”

“What is the most effective way to change your habits?”

For more information, visit www.MyMobileMinute.com …

It’s World Autism Awareness Day, and there is quite a bit of information about the disorder circulating.

I found a great resource at www.DrFrankOnline.com.  Dr. Frank Lawlis, of the Dr. Phil Show is offering his new book, The Autism Answer, completely free of charge for a limited time.  It is available as a download from www.DrFrankOnline.com.

Autism affects as many as 1 in 110 children, and by some accounts is on the rise.  Very recently, a federal court ruled that there is no evidence linking autism and a mercury preservative in vaccines, which has been until now a fairly widely held belief.

There is much mystery surrounding this disorder, but there are some great and helpful resources, as well as therapies.  Dr. Frank’s book is a great place to start!

Here’s a story that gives me an opportunity to discuss something that’s been on my mind for a couple of years.

I had been visiting my brother-in-law at his silicon factory when we began to speak about research studies.

My brother-in-law is a scientist.

He explained to me how many “studies” that were being released took data that was collected for other reasons and re-purposed that data to extract other conclusions.

So we see many of these studies that are long-term and involve thousands of people cropping up.

But most of these “new” studies are based on the same data set.

Here’s the point.

We already live in a society in which obesity is a problem.

Now, is it more responsible to recommend to people that they minimize sweets and eat nutritious foods to minimize the risk of heart disease, or is it better to tell them to eat chocolate – but just a little!

Who on earth eats “just a square” of chocolate?

Come on.

I’m beginning to resent studies like this getting widespread media coverage when real solutions don’t receive a nod.

It’s almost like there’s money in it for them if obesity remains a problem …